A New Life

We’re out of cake. How could I be out of cake?! We just made it yesterday!

I bet Phil came over and ate it.

I’m having some Deep Love withdrawals—again.

I miss them. I miss him. But I get to see one of them next week during the Thanksgiving break. Thank goodness friends are near and Utah isn’t so far. I get to see Kayls too. Her family is being kind enough to let me join them for the holiday. Getting to Oregon would be a nightmare. This’ll be my first Thanksgiving away from home, and honestly, I don’t mind so much. I love the lot of em, and I miss my dog…but…meh. I always end up cleaning (deep cleaning) the whole of the house the day after I come home. I’m not looking forward to that for when I go back for Christmas. I couldn’t handle it then if I did it only a month before. I shouldn’t be a Cinderella when I go home. I’m not the weak orphan that needs a fairy with a bubble for a brain to fix my problems.

Life has taught me that a girl has to save herself. There is no prince, there is no fairy. There is only me and the Lord, and he’s gonna help me, but he aint going to spoon feed me the answers no matter how much I wish he would.


(An excerpt from my version of my least favorite fairytale)

In my world—this land of fairytale—things are not as the story books tell. Those were the original girls, and they had it easier than most that followed them.

In the last ten years there have been fifty Rapunzels, a hundred Thumbelinas, and ninety-five Swan Princesses. Beauty and the Beast is the rarest of the stories to be lived. There are fewer girls with the kind heart the first Beauty possessed.

I know my fairytale and I dread it. Though fairytale lives are ample in our world, the happily ever after is not a chance all of us get.

I am a Cinderella, but my circumstances are drastically different. I have three stepsisters. Two granted are awful, but the third is not bad. Our kingdom has one prince and the chances I am his princess is slim. Why?

Because how they choose his bride is not traditional. Balls aren’t thrown for him. We may not have fairy god mothers, but we have magic, and the royal sorcerers use it to their advantage. The idea is they can locate whom the royalty in question will love the most and be loved by the most.

A nice idea, but I’m not interested in marrying a prince.


I’m not! For reals. I would rather have the poor farm boy who’ll sing me to sleep every night then some guy who’s trying too hard.

I’ve realized that the concepts of the gospel are true. I always knew they were true, but having had some new experiences, I feel them to be true. I know they are not only in my mind, but in my heart too. I didn’t know until I made this realization that my heart had a brain, or will power of its own. What it thinks and what my brains thinks don’t always coincide. I’ve never had that happen before. It’s not that either of them is wrong. It just makes some things hard.

I know there’s a reason I’m not married now. For one thing (though I swore I never would be) I’ve learned that I would be that girl who’d forget academics for a man, and I would do horrible in school. And I’d also be too concerned with my family. I’d never get anything academic done. How do I know this? Well partially because there was a baby in the piano lab tonight. I wanted nothing more than to steal that baby and run. I’ve never had such a strong desire to have a family. I’ve always wanted other things, things I considered to be bigger. But now the desire has been getting stronger and stronger, and it’s getting more difficult to ignore. I now know that I would put all of my other dreams on the back burner for a family, so long as it could be eternal, maybe not immediately, but soon.

My life…I’m ready for it to start.