Leave now! And never come back!

I totally slept in and am now missing ward council. So I’ll write.

Trina came Friday to hang out and see Kieffer in his last comic frenzy show, which was good, but a little long. We had some awesome times after the show. We went to the College Ave Deli where I got a chili dog. I was starving. It was dang tasty, and I totally got it for free. They were flipping a coin. If you guessed heads/tails right you got your food for free.

After the deli we went to Alex’s house. We hung out in his room where interesting things happened. We now have some pretty fascinating inside jokes. Phill made uh—intense noises, and all our minds went there except for Phill’s. Kieffer couldn’t help but mention that was probably how it would sound on Phill’s wedding night, and then Phill will declare “that was fun, you should try it.” ‘Cause that’s what he said after he moan/yodeled while pounding on the strings of his guitar. And then we laughed at the fact I couldn’t make any sound while I laughed. Alex even said he was sad I couldn’t make noise while I laughed as I was silently laughing.

Good times.

Then Kieffer got all depressing and we started talking about relationships. He was saying pretty good stuff that was true, and was things I had told Trina concerning C.S. She gave me a look. And then it got really sad and Trina declared I needed a cuddle—and I really did—so Alex did me the favor for a brief minute before things got funny again.

It was late when we departed. 3 am in fact. Trina dropped us off and we dreamt away the rest of the dark morning hours. I woke up around 9 but stayed in bed. Trina text me a half hour later. She, Phill, Kieffer and I went to Broulim’s to get breakfast. Trina bought. We had a good morning just hanging out. Kaprina came a little while later with her friend Tawni. Phill left with them and then Trina dropped me and Kieffer off and we said farewell. She’s back in Utah now. I miss her :(

So. Life is interesting. I decided probably last week that I wasn’t going to have…intense feelings for C.S. any more. My head said that anyway. The heart is another matter. What sucks is that since then his face has been on either side of my facebook page every time I get on to fb. And it’s been strategically placed to be in my perfect line of vision. Um…thank you? For making this endeavor harder. It’s hard to forget someone who’s on your computer screen all the time. And yes, this is bad, but even when I’m not on fb, I’m on fb. I don’t have a social life because of homework, so I jump on the opportunity to interact with my friends in what little way I can while I do homework. Fb provides me that way. And no one wants to hang out in real life except Phill who’s now too busy wooing Kaprina.

Fat.

Go away C.S. it’s not like you talk to me. Why are you on my computer screen?

In other news. I’ve been doing a little bit of writing. I got two done for the Deep Love Kill List (Phill and I started killing the Deep Love cast on the way to Utah for Thanksgiving). I’ve also started writing a folk opera. Everyone else in the cast was. I had an idea, some songs, why not me too? I’ve also recruited two of my theatre department friends, and I’ll be getting some of my family in on it during the Christmas break. And I’ve been thinking about my descendants series. I’m really liking the conflict between Keenan and Hala…or their story. Bahaha.

“She was everything! That first day—when we met in the field. She was carrying a red veil. I asked her why she had it. She told me it would be a sign for her death. She said she would be sacrificed. It was the fate of the shepherd. I didn’t believe her. But that day when they took her. When I gave her to them…they had it. Before they pierced her fingers and tore her flesh, they wrapped it about her neck. I understood then. I fought to go to her. I fought to let them kill her. The struggle inside me. My heart against my mind. I wish my heart had won. But I thought that when they killed her, I would become mortal. I could follow her to the otherworld. Imagine my surprise that when I drove my sword through my chest I did not die. I did so many things that should have taken a man’s life. But I wasn’t a man. I was still what we are now. Gilideen lied to us. Killing them doesn’t bring us the life of man—it doesn’t bring mortality. It doesn’t give us our chance to be what we should have been before we died as babes. Before we were placed in these bodies neither stone nor flesh. Killing the woman I loved condemned me to a hell on earth—unable to die—not worthy to live. When she was reborn, a scientific feat that should have never happened! I swore to never let her die. She does not remember me. But I remember her. And if keeping her alive sentences me to a forever-life as a creature neither mortal nor immortal, then I will pay that price. Just so long as I never have to see that look in her eyes again.” -Keenan